Spanglish

I grew up not speaking Spanish, I took it in Middle School, High School and College, and I am still not fluent, No Nintendo! I was born and raised in Texas and moved to Georgia 4 years ago. Since living in Georgia, I’ve been asked multiple times if I speak Spanish, not just by native speakers but by others. My usual response is “I am not fluent but I speak a little.” I guess I’d rather be asked then assumed that I do speak Spanish. I think I’ve become more sensitive about this topic since I’ve moved to Georgia. In my part of Texas(Central) , the culture is different. There are more people who are Hispanic and speak English only than there are who speak Spanish only in that area. Here in Georgia its feels as if it is almost assumed that because I am Hispanic I speak Spanish. In a sense here in Georgia I am more of a minority since I am not a first generation Hispanic and I don’t speak Spanish fluently. I wish I was fluent.

Not only am I stereotyped by some non-Hispanics, I am also stereotyped by some Hispanics! Today was spent traveling from Texas back to Georgia. We stopped in Mississippi and there were a group of Hispanic Men, and I was walking up to my fiance, who--is White, and I spoke in English and I felt their eyes on me. I wanted to tell them to STOP STARING, but I didn’t have the guts to do it. This event isn’t just a one time occurrence. A different time, was during our Christmas Break in Texas, my fiance and I went to Hispanic Food Store, called La Michoacana, to buy fajita meat for New Year’s( Since they have this AMAZING seasoned fajita meat!) I had to wait for my number to be called, once it was called I went up to the counter and placed my order in English. After I gave them the initial item I wanted the guy behind the counter started laughing with a co-worker and was looking at me. I felt so weird! I’m not sure if they were laughing at me and maybe I am being too sensitive about it.

This topic goes back to that quote from Selena, I quoted in my first blog post. “You have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and More American than the Americans both at the same time.” Its hard having to balance between both of these cultures. If you assimilate too much then you are un blanca and if you are too Hispanic then you not an America. Is there a balance without losing too much of each part? I love being a Hispanic/Latina woman,and wouldn’t change it in the world, but at the same time I want to try to find a happy medium.